- Nothing adults love more than telling people how exhausted they are. It's like a sadness competition.
- Tell me again how tired you are. Wow. So interesting. LOL.
- You could fall asleep right here? Cool story. Make sure you tell Facebook.
- When you think about it, adults and infants have a lot in common. Always ready for a nap.
- Infant children are tired because of innate weakness. Adults just rinse dishes, use the computer and tell people what to do.
- So Ikea sells broken furniture and adults cheerfully put it together but I cut one sofa and they can't stop talking about it.
- Toddler Tip: If you can see straight through the water, you don't have enough bath toys.
#YOLO - Mommy. You are an angel. But when you're angry you have the face of a demon. Love you.
- Daddy. You were born a tattle but I forgive you. See me later about some chocolate I found. I think it's chocolate.
- Please look alive when reading bedtime stories. Pretend Facebook is watching.
- Toddler Tip: Jumping up and down in your bed while screaming might not get you out of a nap but it will send a message.
- Birthday infant thanks for getting born so I can have cake.
- Man at the store asked mama if I could have a balloon. She doesn't speak for me. I'll take six.
- So if you want cake for breakfast it's called muffin. Lol adults, I see what you did there.
- This three-year old just rolled up to the park wearing loafers looking like Frasier. Don't hurt yourself, Kelsey Grammer.
- I would watch the Emmys but seeing other people experience winning isn't what I'm about.
- Opened a juice box with my teeth at the grocery store. Now we have to buy it. :)
Oh man. There are so many more better ones, but I don't have the time. Hope it made you smile.
If you are on Twitter, who is your favorite person to follow? If you aren't on Twitter, what makes you laugh?
