Please note- she is married to a guy named Rob, too! Don't get confused!
I love being married to Rob. We really enjoy being around each other and we also challenge one another in many areas. He cooks, he cleans, he provides and works hard for our family, but so often I find myself wishing he would do more. I read a blog that a friend shared titled "Give Your Man the Gift of Being Enough" and it opened my heart to a new appreciation for Rob and all he does. You can read the blog entry here; it's a must read for wives/mothers. Basically the writer shares how her husband is great, participates, etc but she often finds herself wishing he would do more. I find myself saying to myself or even to Rob that he's not doing it "right", "my way", or he's not doing "enough" when it comes to everyday tasks with the boys or even things around the house. I am a control freak. I like routine, boundaries, and a schedule. These are all good things, but my eyes were opened to the fact that God created Rob and I differently as parents and it's a good thing that we don't parent and aren't the exact same in every way.
The writer stated this: "Do we really want husbands who parent just like us? I know that you have mothering instincts and that no one knows your children quite like you do, but is having two identical parents really what’s best for your little ones? I’m thinking that God’s plan to create children through the combination of a man and a woman was not a flop. Perhaps the ways your husband parents differently from you actually have the power to benefit your children. (Feel free to read that sentence again to let it sink in.)
This rocked me! God was speaking directly to me. He was using a person who I didn't know from Adam to shed some light into my life. I realized that I didn't need Rob to feed Abram the same way I do. I realized that it doesn't matter if Abram doesn't wear actual pajamas to bed. I realized that Rob needs to be able to discipline Elijah without me butting in and going harder or easier on him. We share in disciplining the kids, but sometimes one of us has to or does make a decision without consulting the other and I need let Rob do that too, he's good at it! I am working on changing my mindset and allowing Rob do parenting his way, I need to do parenting my way and we need to do parenting together too. I am thankful for a husband who is active and participating and just because it's not always as much or how I would like, I am realizing even if he didn't help at all, his role as my husband and the provider of our family is enough!
Thanks, Alicia!
