- When you see a woman/wife/mother who is doing it all- she's not! Don't focus on her. Ask God what He's called you to do and do it well. Don't compare yourselves to other women.
- The speaker references a Craig Groeschel quote that states, "The quickest way to forget what God says about you is to focus on what others think of you." That'll preach.
- Make intimacy a priority. She said that Satan tries to get you in bed before marriage and out of bed after marriage. It's a good thing for women to take initiative!
- Speak of your husband in a positive way and be an encourager. Help push him to be who God wants him to be; don't hold him back. She talked about how runners use ankle and wrist weights to train sometimes so that when they take the weights off, they can run faster. She stated that wives should be the person taking the weight off her husband so he can run faster. Love that!
- Wives can work at making their house a refuge for their husband and kids. I love that, too!
- We have to work hard to guard our marriage relationship. That means it is ok to say no to others & to say no often! Don't apologize for saying no or even feel as though you have to give an excuse. We are striving to have a healthy home, and I would rather disappoint others than my husband or children.
- The speakers said to ask your spouse regularly, "Are we having fun?" Yes, we are!!
- In marriage, we have to let go of unrealistic expectations! Expectations are great, but not holding on to unrealistic ones.
The speakers also gave us a homework assignment which we completed on our way home from the retreat. We each took turns listing things that "fill me" and things that "drain me". We didn't have any surprises, which is good. These aren't specific to one another- just life in general.
Some things that fill Rob include, but are not limited to: going to the movies, meaningful conversations, family fun, words of encouragement from people he cares about, preaching, blogging, and going to conferences. Some things that fill me: quality time with Rob, the beach, family fun, reading, going out to eat, shopping, and spending time with good friends.
Some things that drain Rob include: having to be fake, business stuff/details, doing things he doesn't want to do. For me, I feel drained when I feel like I have to be fake, being around high maintenance people, when both kids are whiny/needy/clingy at the same time, and when our week gets unnecessarily busy. I do not think me and Rob are fake people at all; however, when we are at functions where we don't know anyone at all we feel like we have to go through the motions of big smiles, hand shakes, how are you, where are you from, what do you do, and repeat that conversation five minutes later. I'm not referring to meeting new friends or meeting new people at church; I'm talking about doing this around people you know you'll never see again. For me, I call it schmoozing. I'm not good at schmoozing and it drains me.
What fills you? What drains you? If you are married, ask your spouse those questions! You might be surprised at some of the answers. Plus, it is great to know so that you don't end up draining him/her!!
